Why am I feeling lonely?
If there is one common thread I hear from my clients it is that they feel ‘connected but unsupported’. That you know so many people, yet have no one to listen to you. So many offers of help, but don’t feel you can accept or actually ask for it. Feeling lonely, even when you are not. That’s pretty sad, right?
So what to do about it?
Are the V.I.P. In your life. If you are not coming first on any level … You can’t give with the same energy. Life is ‘busy’ all-round these days like it’s a badge of honour. It’s not … And ultimately we all chose how to spend our time. Yes, there are priorities, work, family, friends, pets, chores … But if you’re always last on the list, you are going to lose the special uniqueness you bring to the party & then when you get to said party – you’ll just be longing for bed!
How do you define yourself? By what you are or what you aren’t? What you want or what you have? You are? A daughter, mother, friend; A Leader, entrepreneur, employee or director; Passionate, honest, driven, funny; Tall, curvy, dark-haired, fabulous. By thinking of all the qualities you have, you are … You’ll recognise what you truly have to offer someone else and above all why someone else would be honoured to be at your side.
Did you know? The brain doesn’t identify the ‘No/not’? What I mean is, if you say ‘I am NOT eating junk food’ it computes it as ‘I am’! This may sound dumb for our very complex grey matter – but it’s an annoying truth.
So start from a place of positive intent: I am going to make more healthy eating choices. What’s the point here? Because if you go out into the world with positive intent you’re more likely to attract like-minded, positive people.
Loneliness is an epidemic & yet we are ‘seen’ to be more social than ever. ‘Social platforms’ suggest numbers of friends, likes, kudos’, followers for example… However, our brains are too old fashioned to yet compute this as proper social interaction. & Let’s face it; it’s not right?! Don’t we all crave face to faces, touch, hugs? Sometimes we experience feeling incredibly lonely even when surrounded, but …
When you put yourself first, value yourself, start with positive intent. You will start feeling less lonely.
Quick recap: how to start with positive intent
1. First, put yourself on your to-do list! Make it a priority – carve out a half-hour, 20 minutes, 5 even! And do you, just for you.
2. Focus on who you are … All the good things that make you uniquely so.
3. Change your language to a positive intention – what do you want? What will you do? How will you act?
You’re then putting out into the world what you want to receive back & then you can:
How to find your community
○ Connect to people who cheer-lead you and lift you up when needed.
○ Like-minded souls who take the time to listen to you, hear you and value what you say.
○ People who aren’t afraid to ask for help & therefore a safe space for you to ask for it too.
PS: You only need two people for a community, You + 1.